I have another job other than writing for Macho Rhino. I work a normal 8-5 job like most of you. It’s on a cube farm in a dimly lit building. Most days are boring. The office dynamic changed this week. “Psycho Skank” invaded out of nowhere and has yet to leave. She’s been here for days now.
Now Rosco why are you being so harsh with this broad? Well first, F U, this is my story so let me finish before interrupting me. I have nicknamed this harlot “Psycho Skank” because she clearly has mental issues and went all crazy on me and the secretary here.
It all related to my generosity. Back in early winter, she was telling a few us how a guy was working on her home and how they were supposed to go out but he just disappeared. She never saw or heard from him again and he never finished the work he’d started. So after listening to this sob story and getting the feeling she was “boy crazy”, I thought I’d throw her to my boys.
I had no interest in her. She’s just too trashy looking for me. She has a hideously large birthmark on her chest that grosses me out. I’m a bo man so if there’s anything askew in that area, I’m immediately turned off. And she’s just so weird. She’s obsessed with cats. Has a picture of one on her computer where the cat is in a leather jacket playing electric guitar. Yes read that sentence again. Also, hanging on her cube wall is a poster of a cat…an animated cat with a sword. OMG…seriously? She’s 30.
She has brown hair and eyes but decided she didn’t like those so she’s still got them, they’re just covered with blonde hair and blue contacts. Her hair is so trashy. It’s not a good dye job, it looks fried. She’s just an average looking chick. Nothing special but from what I’ve seen with some of my friends I thought, they’ve done worse so I decided to play love connection with the “PS” and my buddies. They occassionally need some help with the ladies and I thought throwing PS their way could be a nice slumpbuster for them. I’m sure her half day of looking busy was too tiring for her to keep her head up through her lunch hour.
Then this afternoon I returned from lunch and noticed her slumped over with her head on her desk passed out. Shamful behavior at work but had me laughing hysterically. And she’s been going around trying to talk trash to coworkers so they’ll try to be on her side but they’ve all already asked me and know she’s crazy. I was trying to take a picture but didn’t want to risk getting caught and having to explain the situation to HR. But it’s burned in my memory so anytime I need a laugh I can just recall it.
This is a cautionary tale guys of crazy office skanks. Be careful, there could be one lurking in a cube next to you!
